taylor hernandez
One in four Americans are currently in a “relationship rut,” according to new research.
A survey of 2,000 Americans in a serious relationship explored the highs and lows of love and found that 26% currently believe their partnership needs some rejuvenation.
Thirty-four percent admit they’ve previously faced a relationship rut — and the survey looked at some of the common signs people need to reignite the spark with their partner.
Key indicators of a rut include fewer romantic gestures or moments (50%), less passionate, routine sex (46%), boredom in the bedroom (32%) and a lack of conversation (41%).
Others find themselves daydreaming about other people or partners (24%) or notice their partner has commented less on their appearance (23%).
(Photo by cottonbro studio via Pexels)
With this current rut lasting an average of nearly 10 months, and 55% even admitting it’s been more than a year, 63% are concerned these instances could foreshadow the end of their relationship if there isn’t some intervention soon.
Conducted by Talker Research on behalf of Lovense, there is hope — and the survey also explored how couples keep the spark alive.
An additional 34% have found their relationship in a rut in years past and these couples worked on their communication (62%) as well as focused on trying new things together (43%). For a little more than a third (36%), these methods were effective.
Results found that only 30% of couples frequently try new things in the bedroom, and nearly half (48%) admit they only have sex between one and five times during an average month.
Asad Photo Maldives
In fact, only about a third (32%) would grade the spiciness of their intimate encounters between an “A+” and an “A-”. Thirteen percent would even downright give it an “F.”
Taking things a step further, three in five (60%) say their current partner is the best they’ve ever had in the bedroom.
The survey also explored how long-distance relationships impact intimacy. According to the results, 31% are either currently or have been in a long-distance relationship and 20% believe those relationships are “spicier” than normal relationships. For nearly all of those respondents (83%) technology plays an integral role in staying connected to their partner.
“Technology isn't just for long-distance relationships — it can help couples break free from routines and add excitement to their intimacy,” said Dan Liu, Lovense CEO. “When relationships fall into predictability, tech offers a way to reintroduce novelty and creativity, helping partners rediscover connection and pleasure.
“It’s not about replacing human interaction, but enhancing it and keeping things fresh, whether together or apart.”
(Photo by Polina Tankilevitch via Pexels)
When asked the most effective or unique way they enhance bedroom intimacy with their partner, respondents shared some surprising approaches. One respondent said, “first by just relaxing together and letting the world go away,” while another said “whipped cream and strawberries.”
Toys such as blindfolds and mood enhancements such as candles or music were also popular answers.
Couples are also introducing technology into the bedroom by using toys (24%), lights (21%) and playlists (13%).
“After being together for years or even decades, it’s natural for couples to settle into a routine — and many find it challenging to reignite that initial spark. But keeping a long-term relationship exciting doesn’t have to be complicated,” said Liu. “Sometimes, small changes — like introducing technology into the bedroom — can create fresh experiences and bring back that sense of intimacy and connection.
“We’ve seen time and time again how a little innovation can make a big difference in helping couples rediscover intimacy and create new, memorable moments together.”
René Ranisch
Survey methodology:
Talker Research surveyed 2,000 Americans in a serious relationship; the survey was commissioned by Lovense and administered and conducted online by Talker Research betweenMarch 24 to March 30, 2025.
We are sourcing from a non-probability frame and the two main sources we use are:
- Traditional online access panels — where respondents opt-in to take part in online market research for an incentive
- Programmatic — where respondents are online and are given the option to take part in a survey to receive a virtual incentive usually related to the online activity they are engaging in
Those who did not fit the specified sample were terminated from the survey. As the survey is fielded, dynamic online sampling is used, adjusting targeting to achieve the quotas specified as part of the sampling plan.
Regardless of which sources a respondent came from, they were directed to an Online Survey, where the survey was conducted in English; a link to the questionnaire can be shared upon request. Respondents were awarded points for completing the survey. These points have a small cash-equivalent monetary value.
Cells are only reported on for analysis if they have a minimum of 80 respondents, and statistical significance is calculated at the 95% level. Data is not weighted, but quotas and other parameters are put in place to reach the desired sample.
Interviews are excluded from the final analysis if they failed quality-checking measures. This includes:
- Speeders: Respondents who complete the survey in a time that is quicker than one-third of the median length of interview are disqualified as speeders
- Open ends: All verbatim responses (full open-ended questions as well as other please specify options) are checked for inappropriate or irrelevant text
- Bots: Captcha is enabled on surveys, which allows the research team to identify and disqualify bots
- Duplicates: Survey software has “deduping” based on digital fingerprinting, which ensures nobody is allowed to take the survey more than once
It is worth noting that this survey was only available to individuals with internet access, and the results may not be generalizable to those without internet access.
